Differentiate between friends and enemies at work

I have a lot of friends who work for multinationals. Since I am a consultant, I enjoy talking to them about their achievements, success stories and challenges.
Today I want to talk about one of the most common challenge that troubles most of them. Im sure you would have heard this statements often –

“I get demoralized every day when I hear what someone is saying about me and my work”.

Now here’s the catch, we need to answer this question first, “Are you getting demoralized because someone is saying something about you or because your so called well-wisher is bringing it to your ears?

We will talk about this friend is later but let’s first understand what this is doing to us-

This leads to not only demoralization, this affects your health, your approach towards your work the way you talk to your colleague’s changes after this discussion, your fire to take initiatives disappears, you start blaming your supervisor and the organization you work for. A slow poison, that is eating up your energy every day. And what do you do here, you become closer to this friend thinking he/she is bringing information to you. Oh ya! I mean well-wisher!

Now what should we do?

Well Easy! –

Become deaf – you really don’t need to know what people are talking about you behind your back. If that was necessary, we would have been born with the power to listen everything from everywhere, leave it for the detectives and gossipers please. Your focus is to give your best with the same energy, happiness and gratitude you had when u got hired for this job and remember, this is exactly what you wanted that time.

Be assertive with your well-wishers-
On a lighter note I ask my well-wishers “so what did you do when you heard them saying this?” haha… that’s where I catch them. If they were really your well-wishers they would have supported you there and then. But they like to enjoy your reaction and attention more than taking a stand for you. Please tell them not to tell you what you don’t need to know. A gossip never helped anyone anyway. These well-wishers are also called energy suckers. Wake up now!

Be Authentic –
Be the first one to encourage transparency in your department. Start taking and giving feedback to all the people you work with on a personal note. The key here is to take feedback and work on it before you expect people to work on your feedback. Of course filter feedback and opinions. Most of the negativity will start getting filtered out after 2-3 sessions are completed of this exercise. Share feedback Directly, honestly and respectfully.

Be Disciplined-
I’m sure you know that the road to success is always under construction and all the successful people faced the similar challenges as you are facing. If you are following discipline be fearless.

In the end I would like to conclude with this one statement, if you salute your job, you don’t need to salute anyone else. Ensure you work with ethics and are excited about what you do, give your best, love what you do, express yourself openly and honestly, be transparent and in full faith, believe in yourself.


Author: Nikhil Juneja, Snr. Consultant, TransforME